John 3:16 - 18
...."For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
..."For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved."
..."He that believeth on Him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God."
...As you will soon see, and come to understand, in light of what I am about to share with you about the events of my incredibly dysfunctional childhood, It was only this incredible love that God says is ours.... if we would only believe.... that would help me and my family to break free from what was a diabolical scheme straight out of the pits of Hell itself, a plan that Satan had designed to destroy everyone of us .
....Many of the names of the people that you will here, God redeems and sets them free later on in life while others do not break free and as result of their bondage they lose or take their own lives. Remember them as I share not only my journey but theirs as well...
....After we moved from Ohio to Michigan, as I shared previously, Life as I knew it completely changed. I had a new school. A new family. A new lifestyle, and I was living in a new culture.
...Once I gained the respect of my new classmates and neighbors, and what I mean is,...I was not going to be a punk. I suddenly had been enrolled in the school of hard knocks, and as much as possible began to try and adjust and fit in. It really was the law of the jungle at home and in the streets.
I don't want to be completely misunderstood by implying that there was no love in our home...because as sick as it may sound, or as impossible as it may sound, My Mother and Stepfather in many ways tried to make us feel secure in the knowledge that we were loved.
...In spite of all the dysfunction and insanity there was love and tenderness. I'm not quite sure how that makes sense in light of the verbal and physical abuse that us Kids and my mother experienced at home, there was also lots of affection and expressions of remorse showered upon us. It was terribly confusing.
...It was very much like the title of that Clint Eastwood movie...."THE GOOD, BAD AND THE UGLY!"
...So much happened from the time we arrived in Kalamazoo, up until the time I left home at 16 that it would take months for me to detail all of it so I'll try and just hit some of the parts that really stick out in my mind.
I already shared some of those things that happened starting at age 14 when I was befriended by Nate the Pedophile up until the time I met Beth at age 16.
....Needless to say we lived in a poor neighborhood, and the influence of the kids that I grew up with wasn't the greatest. My role as the oldest of the children in our new family was that most of the responsibility of caring for my sister and brother fell to me.
...Mom and Ron worked at different jobs over the years, but mostly we grew up on welfare. At first, the friends and family gatherings that we had were just about always excuses for people to get together to drink. Mom and Ron spent a lot of time in the taverns, and as you can imagine...we were exposed to a lot of chaos and violence in the home after a long night of drinking.
....There was many a night that we were awakened to the sounds of screaming, arguing and cursing because of the drunkenness. Sometimes it turned into domestic violence whether it was directed at Mom, us or one of the other fellow partyers in their social group. I do remember having a lot of babysitters at first, before I was considered to be old enough to be the babysitter.
...But most of those girls were more interested in entertaining their boyfriends and their buddies than they were in taking care of us brats. I didn't mind that so much because I pretty much got to do whatever I wanted to, because they were too busy in the bedroom to notice what I was up to.
One of my favorite things was hiding under the bed spying on them and getting an education in the birds and the bees first hand. I well remember one babysitter named Bonnie who was about 16 and I was 12 and she took it upon herself to give me a firsthand education on the birds and bees and taught me all about what gives a young woman sexual pleasure. I liked her alot and was always happy when she came to sit for us and she would put the other kids to bed early.
...I don't quite know how, but I managed to get good grades in school and excelled in most athletics. I played little league baseball like most kids and was a good pitcher and could hit the snot out of a baseball.
I played alot of pickup basketball games at the church down the street when I wasn't breaking into it stealing stuff and vandalizing it. and when I got to Junior High I found out That wrestling was the sport that I excelled in the most. I was all city champ in my weight class in the 7th and 8th grade and was undefeated until the 9th grade all city tournament where I lost for the first time, and that was because I was well on my way to being a teenage alcoholic and drug addict. I was more interested in sex drugs and rock & roll than I was in sports. Also I was a pretty aggressive linebacker on our 9th grade football team. I loved hitting people.
A family friend was also my sensei, and I studied martial arts for a few years under him in Okinawan style Karate, but the crazy thing was, he was one of my stepfathers dope suppliers and I smoked pot with him fairly frequently, But that was not to be known amongst the other students at the dojo.
I'll never forget when I found out My parents smoked Pot. It was quite by accident. I was always snooping around and rummaging through their drawers when they were out at the bars and I was stuck home with the kids. I was always checking out my stepfathers pornography. There was always plenty of that laying around the house. As a matter of fact, I'm quite sure that was the reason Bonnie the babysitter taught me how to be her little sex slave because it all started as a result of her asking me to read her some of the nasty stories in Ron's porno pocketbook novels, and she got all worked up as a result. I don't know, in looking back she was pretty much a kid herself and maybe I was safe for her to experiment with. I don't think she was very experienced.
Anyways, back to the dope smoking discovery....I found a Laredo tobacco can and some rolling papers and a rolling machine in one of Mom and Ronnie's bedroom drawers and inside the can was a Baggie with green looking tobacco with seeds in it and I snuck some out and showed it to one of the older neighborhood guys, across the street. His name was Earl Moser and I had heard that he smoked Pot.
....The funny thing was, that as soon as I showed it to him, he immediately said to me, What have you been doing? Snooping in your Mom and Dad's Laredo can???
As it turned out, Earl was the one that had sold it to them. Well, as you can imagine...It wasn't too long after that, I was taken aside by Mom and Ronnie and questioned about what I had found and showed to Earl?
...It was right then and there that I think my parents made the decision to make me a partner and an ally in this new found knowledge that i had found them out about the fact that they smoked Marijuana, and even more so to my surprise several of my friends from school had already smoked Pot with my parents and even sold them some. It was real soon after that talk that I got high for the first time on pot with my parents. It was the summer between the 7th and 8th grade.
I'll stop here for now and pick this back up later with the rest of the story.
Michael
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