"TRIUMPH"=The Rest of The Story! Part3 Doug

...The shock and the tragedy of Doug's death, 2 weeks before his 21st Birthday was such an assault on my sensibilities and emotions, that it struck me at the very core of my being...

...Neither was it lost on me how frail, our mortality is! Especially my own! As I later learned... I quite possibly  drank from that same bitter cup that ushered my friend, and brother into the presence of the Almighty...

...Those days immediately  following Doug's Death were filled with questions and speculation, most of them unsubstantiated, or unanswered...

...those memories are pretty cloudy in my mind today as they are filled for me personally with a whirlwind of emotions and personal introspection...

...I had just started my new job as a RoughNeck and I had to focus on that four days at a time...

... I do remember that Barry was out of the picture for a little while as he had traveled back to Ohio for Doug's Funeral and Burial...I am sure that He was emotionally overwhelmed, and I am sure he was bombarded with all the questions  from Doug's family about what exactly happened?...

...I do remember having to talk to detectives locally in DeRidder who were naturally investigating a suspicious death of such a young and seemingly very healthy young man...

...It was certainly not a task that I was looking forward to...after all I really didn't know anything that I thought would be of any use, but I was what they referred to as a MATERIAL WITNESS, and I was the last person in our group that had talked with Doug or seen him up on his feet that night...

... I rescued him out of the front yard where he was running around drunk and naked, I got him dressed and back inside the house before I left for work...

...All I knew, was what I had been told...Most of that was second and third hand, I never seen that girl Lisa ever again, and it would be weeks before I got to see Barry and talk to him...

...As the story goes, Barry and some of the fellows stopped by the house the following day and Doug was laying on a pallet on the floor in my bedroom sleeping off his hangover, so everyone thought...

...They said that he was acting like he was having a nightmare or something because they could hear him moaning, kind of talking in his sleep, being restless...

...No one there had any idea that Doug was actually laying there, probably in a coma, struggling to live...

...After all they had came by the house to see if Doug wanted to go fishing with them and to get the fishing equipment, and after seeing Doug dealing with a massive hangover, seeing him Dog Drunk the night before, everybody just quietly left the house, deciding that Doug would be better off if they just let him finish sleeping it off...

...I guess that nobody else stopped by until the following day, and I heard that it was Barry that discovered Doug still lying on the floor in the bedroom the next day...

...He reached down to shake him awake and horribly realized that His best friend Doug Tuttle was no longer amongst the Living...

...I can't even imagine what that grizzly discovery must have done to Barry and his Psyche...

...The emotional scar, I'm sure still travels with him today.  It's not something we talked about much other than the few times we talked after he came back to DeRidder following the funeral and his trip back to Ohio...

...The one thing that I do know for sure... Doug's Death was not for nothing...He did not die in vain...

...It changed my life forever!...

.....And consequently, the lives of an unknown number of people, that only God Himself knows...Because that number is still being added to up until this day... and beyond...

...Doug's life and His death are still impacting the lives of all the people whose lives my ministry impacts, and their ministry and lives impact compounded exponentially add infiniteum etc. etc. etc...

...I remember driving back and forth to work that following week...We were working on a new location, and it was close enough that they didn't suitcase us in a local motel...

...We just drove back and forth every day, and it was during that time I discovered a local Radio Station called Stereo Love...Kajn...Cajun country Christian Radio.  I believe it was broadcast out of Crowley, Louisianna...

It was during those times of driving back and forth to work That God's presence and His Spirit, became very real to me, and I can remember driving for miles, grieving and weeping, sobbing so violently at times I had to pull over and gather myself to drive because I was blinded by my own tears...

...My thoughts would race and my emotions would run wild, and I find myself talking out loud with God praying and hollering at him all at the same time...Wrestling with a decision that God had been lovingly coaxingly been trying to get me to make for a long time now...

...Our house was only a block away from the Texas Avenue Baptist Church, and I remember my eye always being drawn to the sign out front...There was an invitation to come to their REVIVAL!...

...I had absolutely no Idea what a REVIVAL was but I had purposed in my heart that I was going to Church this next Sunday and was going to become a Christian...

That was one of the greatest decisions that I had ever made in my entire life and I wasn't sure what it all meant but I can tell you this much...

...Satan wasn't digging it and he wasn't about to let go of me without a fight and it was a battle that I almost didn't survive...

...But that's a whole other story...

...NEXT THE REST OF THAT STORY!

...IT TRULY IS A NEVER ENDING STORY...

SO PLEASE KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!!

BROTHER MICHAEL

Part2 DOUG TUTTLE Tribute! TESTIMONY CONT.

..."TRAGEDY AND TRIUMPH!..A CONTRADICTION OF TERMS!"


"AMAZING GRACE HOW SWEET THE SOUND THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME!"
"I ONCE WAS LOST BUT NOW I"M FOUND WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE!"

"...The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified."
"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of corn falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces much fruit." {John 12:23-24}

...I have no idea what all went on after I went to bed?...I crashed hard and some how slept through any noise or commotion that continued amonst the celebrants...

...The next thing I know, Doug's Date Lisa, is waking me up all distraught...asking me to help her get Doug back inside the house, because he was outside in the front yard Buck ass Naked and she was afraid someone was going to see him and call the cops.  She said she couldn't get him to listen to reason or anything she was trying to get him to do...

...This was a little after 3:00AM, right before my alarm was set to get me up for work...

...I HAVE TO ADMIT, I AM NOT A VERY PLEASANT KIND OF GUY WHEN SOMEONE WAKES ME...ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M SLEEP DEPRIVED, OR  A LITTLE HUNG OVER...I REMEMBER THINKING, "WHAT THE HELL?  I COULD HAVE SLEPT  ANOTHER HALF HOUR"...

... I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO BE FOOLING AROUND WITH A SLOPPY DRUNK!  I WALKED OUTSIDE AND SAW DOUG STAGGERING AROUND AND HANGING ONTO A SMALL TREE TRYING TO TAKE A LEAK...BTW  HE REALLY WAS STARK NAKED, NOT A STITCH OF CLOTHES ON...

...I hollered at Lisa to run back in the bedroom and grab a pair of gym shorts or sweats or something for Doug to put on...I got a hold of him and started talking him back into the house...Lisa re-appeared with a pair of shorts and after getting him dressed I guided him back inside...He was coherant in the sense that he was able to talk and form sentences, but he was staggering all over the living room, falling onto the portable TV and knocking it off on the floor, not able to maintain his balance...

...All the time that I'm dealing with Doug, trying to get him settled down and sorted out before I had to leave, Lisa is recounting to me about how drunk Doug had gotten  even to the point of violence, where he had picked a fight with somebody and something about him pulling a knife on some guy, anyways, she said that the fellows got it broke up and that had pretty much ended the festivities for the evening...The rest she didn't go into detail about but I got the sense that they had laid down together with Carnal intentions which led to him wandering around Naked...

...Finally, I got Doug settled down in the Bedroom that I had just vacated and admonished Lisa to look after him and make sure he  didn't get into any more trouble...

...She assured me that she was going to stay the night with him, there was nobody else there in the house to give her a ride a home anyways...

...Feeling confident that she would keep an eye on him, as well as the fact that he now seemed to be fast asleep, I figured he would be fine...
... after all...He just needed to sleep it off...

...It really was not anything out of the ordinary...Just another friend that had  too much to drink,  we would all have a good laugh about it sometime later and embarass him by telling him what an idiot he was drunk ...

... Maybe I was a little distracted being under a time deadline, starting my new job and all, but I had to get going and that's what I did!

...I remember how excited I was heading out on my grand adventure of  a new job and possibly a new career in the oilfield...

...I had only gone a few miles down the road and thought no more of the events that I had just left behind...
...Why should I?
... Situation normal in our world...
...Drink too much...Make a fool out of yourself...
...sleep it off...and start life all over again...

...We had all done it a million times...

...That first week in the oilfield was almost my last!

...As tough as I was, and as stubborn as I am, nothing in my life up to that point had properly prepared me for all of the challenges, both physically and emotionally that immediately assaulted me on every level of my existense...

...If you have ever watched one of those military style movies, where the new recruits are put through pure hell at boot camp...

...Constantly being bullied, yelled at, people screaming, hollering, insulting, humiliating you, swearing, cussing, cursing, and even threatening you...

...Your every sense is assaulted, by the noises and the smell of smoke and diesel fuel from the dozens of huge caterpillar and Detroit Diesel motors being pressed into service, exerting the forces of thousands of horsepower, to move and push and pull tons of iron pipe, tools, etc, etc...

Every thing was bigger and heavier than anything that I had ever had to work with in my life...It didn't take me too long to figure out what they were hollering about...

...They kept screaming at me to get the 48 or the 60...It was the size in inches of the largest, heaviest Pipe wrench I had ever seen...

...The job we were doing, required us to use these mammoth size tools repeatedly, as often and skillfully as a carpenter uses his hammer...

...It is no understatement when I tell you that it was pure hell in every sense of the word...

...The filth, of the Drilling fluids = Mud...
...The Pipe Dope = Buckets of Grease or Oil...
...Wet water dripping and splashing constantly all over you for your 12 hr. shift...

...Exposed to all of the Elements, Weather, Hot , Cold, Wind, Rain, Lightning, and you cant even imagine all of the huge bugs, insects, animals and creatures that crawl out of the bayous and swamps...

...You have no idea how relieved I was on that 4th day of our hitch, when we packed up and left that little Roach Motel they had us holed up in...

...I'll never forget the Phone conversation I had with Miss Beth after that 3rd night...

... I told her, "That I didn't think I was cut out for this roughneck crap and I just wanted to come home..."

"That was the turning point right there that was going to make me or break me...Because she said to me,..

... That I only had to survive for 12 more hours and I could crawl into my old rust bucket and head back Home to DeRidder...

...and make no mistake about it...DeRidder was now our home so I had better just suck it up, and do what I had to do to get through it...

"...Her and Aimee' was counting on me to move them down there as soon as possible, they wasn't going to live like we had been living any longer..."

...The Upshot of that conversation was, that if I quit my job and gave up, I essentially was giving up and quitting on our marriage...

...That was all the motivation and kick in the seat of my pants that I needed!
... I toughed it out, got through the last 12hr shift of my hitch, and headed towards DeRidder!..

...I could go on and on but I think your getting the idea of  the kind of culture shock this young naive Damn Yankee was encountering...
...The strange thing is...
...As much as it hurt...
... as much as I hated it...
...I Loved it!..

...I was so relieved to pull into the driveway after the 3 hour drive to get back to the house...I was tired, hungry, and filthy dirty!  I needed a shower bad.

It was spooky and quiet when I walked into our apartment...Nobody was around, so I decided to hurry up and shower, get into some clean clothes and go find the gang and see if anyone wanted to go get dinner somewhere...I couldn't wait to tell somebody about my experiences and my first week as a RoughNeck...

There was one thing that really struck me as being odd when I went to get me some clean clothes out of the dresser...

...Doug's glasses were sitting on top of the chester drawers and I remember how everybody kinda ribbed Doug over him being Blind as a bat without his glasses...

...It just seemed strange to me, but I didn't dwell on it very long, I just blew it off and took care of my business and headed up the street to Debbie and Koch's house, figuring to run into everybody up there...

...I'll never forget as long as I live the look on Smiley's face, when He opened the door for me and stepped out on the porch instead of inviting me inside...He was speaking in hushed tones, almost a whisper when He asked me the most ridiculous question???

..."YOU KNOW DOUG DON'T YOU?"

Of course, I said...Why?

...And at that very moment, I knew what he was about to tell me before the words ever came out of his mouth...

...THOSE GLASSES SITTING THERE ON TOP OF OUR DRESSER FLASHED ACROSS MY BRAIN, AND SOMEHOW I KNEW HE WAS ABOUT TO DROP A BOMBSHELL ON ME ABOUT SOMETHING VERY BAD HAPPENED TO DOUG!...

...I THEN REMEMBERED THE SCENE I HAD LEFT BEHIND 4 OR 5 DAYS AGO WHEN I WENT TO WORK AND LEFT DOUG IN LISA'S CARE...

...It was an unbelievable sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and I remembar saying that Doug was about to turn 21 years old in two weeks...What the the Hell had happened?...

...Where was Barry and Page at?...

...I had a million questions all at once and the tears and my emotions were starting to run wild!

...How could this have happened???  What exactly did happen?  What killed him? How did he die? Who found Him?  When did they find him?  Where did they find him?   On and On and On...I kept firing the questions?

...I was sick and stunned and in disbelief, all at the same time...I was in shock!

Part1 DOUG TUTTLE Tribute! TESTIMONY CONT.

..."TRAGEDY AND TRIUMPH!..A CONTRADICTION OF TERMS!"

...As previously stated, there is always a tremendous battle being waged between the "Forces of Good and Evil"..."God and Satan"... "Right and Wrong"... or the "SuperNatural and the Natural"...
...Whatever makes you comfortable or is more Palatable to your sensibilities, the truth remains the same, and the concept is something that most reasonable people are in agreement about.

...Isn't that our experience in life?...

...Isn't that the tension or dynamic that most of us struggle with, encounter, as we wrestle seemingly with the unseen forces of our conscience's when trying to decide on a course of action...whether we will go one way or another, or deciding to do this thing or that?

..."We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against Principalities, Powers, Rulers of Darkness, Spiritual Wickedness in high places!"

..."The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God, to the pulling down of strongholds, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God!" {My Paraphrases}

...God was speaking to the whole cast of characters in this slice of dramatic life that I've been discussing... and working with each of us individually, as He does with all of us that are on this Journey and Adventure we call life!
...God moves different people in and out of our lives in an attempt to reveal His self and His love for us...He also Speaks to us sometimes Loudly through the Tempest of The Storms of life and through tragedies...And sometimes quietly with that still small voice He uses when we witness something wonderful and beautiful like the Birth of a newborn or the beauty of a sunrise or sunset...The beauty of a flower etc. and on and on add infiniteum...

..."God is not willing that any should perish, but that all would come to repentance and to the knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus, our Lord..."


...I've already shared with you many different examples of how God was working and moving in my life...Revealing Himself and His love for me...

...And as I look back on my new friend, Doug's life...I can only speak to that short portion of time that I was blessed to share with him...

...I must confess that I don't have a lot of Knowledge of how God was working in his life prior to us meeting, but I can only guess, and strongly believe that God Loved Doug very much and had demonstrated that Love to him in many ways...

...I know for sure one thing about his past, because he talked about it quite frequently with great affection, and that was that he had a great family back in Ohio and his face would just light up and his eyes would beam when he described them to me and what life had been like back there...

...Like I said, we didn't know each other that long, but we became fast and good friends, we went fishing together just the two of us a few times and we would sit there on the bank  of this beautiful pond we had discovered drinking a few cold brews and maybe even smoked a joint or two while sitting there enjoying the beauty and the serenity of our surroundings...

...We also used this pond for a swimming hole being dumb ass Damn Yankees not even thinking about the fact that there are alligators lurking in just about every body of water there is in Louisianna and as anyone that has ever shared those kind of moments with a friend or a buddy knows...

...Sometimes, as was the case with us, you talk about all kinds of things, and Doug and I would talk about our families and our previous lives, our plans for the future and also about our new lives and experiences that we were going through in this new town that we both found ourselves living in...

...We were young guys, full of life and adventure and for all of our faults and failures we were working on building a lifelong friendship...

...And even though it was a short period of time I came to know him and love him and can easily say that Doug Tuttle was my friend and I was the better for it...

...The one thing that really sticks out in my mind is this one really cute blonde that he was dating and He actually seemed to be sort of serious about her, but it was a source of laughter amongst us fellows and we gave him some shit about it...

...She was the daughter of a Pentecostal Preacher!  The reason I know that He was serious about her was because he had plenty of other girls that he was playing with so he put up with this girls Father's conditions to see her and date her by his own choice...

...Trust me, when I tell you there was a lot of conditions that came along with this chick...

...Her name totally escapes me even though I am sure That God spoke to her life in a very profound way through Doug as He has done with me...

...It was a hard and fast rule with her Preacher Daddy that any Boy that wanted to be a suitor had to come to Sunday School and Sunday Worship with her, and I know for a fact that for a month at least, Doug was there sitting under some very enthusiastic and exuberant pentecostal preaching...

...The Reason that is an important point to make is this...Most of us, if we would be honest would have to admit that God tries to get our attention on a regular basis, and that if we were to find ourselves suddenly in His presence for personal judgement...

...none of us could claim ignorance as an excuse...

...God is actively pursuing us for our own protection...
...Very much like a mother hen pursues her brood of chicks, to gather them under her wings to keep them safe.

...UNFORTUNATELY, JUST LIKE IN THE NATURAL WORLD...NOT ALL THE CHICKS SURVIVE...SOME FALL VICTIM TO THE MANY PREDATORS AND DANGERS THAT OUR NATURAL WORLD IS FRAUGHT WITH!...

...Like I said, we were all young guys, looking for work by day, and pretty much living it up like young bachelors...Drinking, partying, getting high, and chasing skirts by night and on the weekends...

...Along the way we would have some pretty profound, life lesson moments and conversations, but for the most part we all felt pretty bullet proof, and invinceable.  After all we were young and had our whole lives in front of us to look forward to...So we thought...

...I'll never forget that Day that I finally got hired on at CRC Holston Well Services And Drilling, out of Jennings, La.  I was ecstatic!...I was going to be a RoughNeck...Wow!  My new life was really going to take off now and hopefully, very soon I would be able to bring my family down to live with me...

...It was during this time if My memory serves me right that Barry and Doug both were not working or were off on job related injuries...Being a RoughNeck on an Oilrig is no picnic in the park...Its very dangerous work especially for the new guys, or WORMS, as they called us rookies...It seems like that Doug Had injured both his wrists on the job even before I had moved down there...

...Anyways, as soon as I got the word that I was hired and I was supposed to show up next week, my whole world changed...The Yard as it was called where I got hireds was in Jennings.  That was a little over a hundred miles from DeRidder, but the thing was that I was Going to be working on land on a Truck Rig.  Most of our jobs were Workover Wells...

...In other words, we had to Rig Up on Land locations and repair natural gas and oilwells that had broke down and were no longer producing correctly or not at all...

...Although not quite as glamourous as working on a big "Offshore Drilling Platform"  I always said that it was OK by me because at least I could run further than I could swim if something bad went wrong!...

...And believe me, stuff does and can go wrong very quickly in that line of work...The old Coon Asses always said that you couldn't even call yourself a real Rough Neck unless you had 3 or more fingers missing...I seen my share of guys with missing digits as well as a large variety of different war wounds...Some of them had pretty horrific scars...

...The day finally came when I was set to show up and meet my Driller and the rest of the crew so I could follow them to my first Well location in a little place named Paridis Louisianna out in the middle of the swamp about 30 miles west of New Orleans. The way our shifts were set up was, we worked 4 days on, and then we got 4 days off. Each shift was a 12 hour shift 6AM to 6PM for Days and vice versa for nights, and it switched every week form days to nights, and from nights to days...

...It actually seemed like a great Gig to me because you were guaranteed 48 hours a week which meant you got 8 hours overtime at time and a half...The part that sucked was you only got payed every 2 weeks, big paychecks but I thought that I had a lot of income taxes taken out.  We really thought it was big money because I was making a little over $10.00 an hr. straight time and almost $16.00 an hr. for overtime...

...As I was saying, it was a very big deal in our little circle of friends and family that I had gotten this job...
...It was mission accomplished for my whole purpose in coming to Louisianna in the first place so again...
...Now we had a legitimate reason to throw a party and celebrate,  I don't remember everything about how it all got started but I know that it was my plan to stay close to home, which was mine and Barry and Dougs apartment...

...I had to get up around 3:30AM because I had a long drive to meet those fellows for my first day on the job, and I wasn't about to screw that up...

...Anyways people just started to gather at the house all day long and we had plenty to drink, a few different bottles of hard liquor a twelve pack or two, somebody showed up with some Percodans, and there was a few different varieties of smoke, joints were being passed bowls of weed were being fired up, someone took on the role of playing DJ, we fired up a barbque grill and before you knew it... even a little more than usual...

...The party was on!...


...I can remember, at some point, later in the evening, Doug showed up with a date, a new girl...an attractive brunette, and again her name escapes me...maybe Lisa or Theresa anyways I remember Doug telling me tah they had just met recently and they had either been out to a movie or dinner maybe both, but anyways the barbeque or party had been on for quite awhile and I was thinking for myself that I wasn't going to get hammered and stay up all nigh because I had to be up and on the road early for my new job, and I was going to be gone for 4 days before I would be back in town...

...I do remember that Doug seemed to bew working on a pretty good buzz andf He was rather enthusiastic when he wondered over and gave me the heads up on his intentions with his date and he had a water glass about 12 ounces I would estimate full of some clear liquor that He said was some white lightning he got from somewhere, and he insisted that I take a good pull on it and check it out...

...I did in fact take a healthy swallow out of the glass but commented to him that it was about the nastiest moonshine I had ever tasted and he could keep the rest for himself...I also remember saying something like, "maybe if you mixed some orange juice or pineapple with it then it might be more tolerable,"...

...Simple fact of the matter was, there was plenty of varieties of adult Beverages and I had been taking it easy nursing some cold Coors Beers for the most part, dropped a couple of Percodans earlier in the day and smoked some weed that was occasionaly passed around but my day was quickly coming to an end around 10:00PM cuz I had a 3:30AM wakeup to head out on my new job at CRC Holston...I don't remember for sure how many folks were still hanging out when I excused myself to the Bedroom to crash for a few hours, but most of the commotion had died off to a dull roar and I crashed hard...

...READ PART TWO!

Deridder La.1981 Oilfields Roughnecks Barry Doug And Deb Testimony Cont.

...It's early March 1981 and I am Leaving my wife and Baby Daughter Aimee' Beth behind in Kalamazoo while I head out for the Oilfields of Louisianna and Texas to become a Roughneck on the Oilrigs offshore in the Gulf of Mexico or maybe on a land based Platform...

...As I shared previously I was leaving town on a wing and a prayer with the smoke literally rolling off my backside and the stench of near death and destruction was clinging to me and in fact did carry over into my new environs which we will soon tragically discover!..


...It was truly a comical sight as I pulled out of our driveway on Gull Rd. with an old beat up rusted out hoopty that must of looked like a cross from a scene from the Beverly Hillbilly's and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures...

...My Brother-In-Law Steve comes along as a co-pilot but decides to drop 4 hits of acid as we are heading down the highway and keeps me awake for the entire trip by providing the entertainment...
...It is incredibly Hilarious to stay sober while watching someone else tripping their brains out on LSD on a 1200 mile roadtrip while being battered about on the highway in an incredible windstorm...

...To say the ride to Texarkana was an adventure in itself is an understatement,  But reality began to kick in after Dropping Steve at the Amtrak Station in Arkansas...

...The Drive from TexArkana to DeRidder was a time for me to contemplate what lay ahead in what was supposed to be an attempt to make a Fresh new, and better start in my life and for my young family...I was only 21 years old at the time!..

...I pulled up at a little burger joint when I rolled into town and called Barry to come and meet me and guide me into their house.  Doug Tuttle was the one that came up and I followed him back to my new home...

...Barry was out on an oilrig so I got to meet Doug for the first Time in my life, and we became fast and good friends...

...Doug was an incredible young guy with a smile and a heart as big as all outdoors.  He had this incredible laugh, boyish good looks and charm that seemed to have all the pretty girls just eating out of his hands.  I was incredibly envious and a little jealous of all these Southern Belle cuties that seemed to be like his own personal Harem...

...This kind of environment was not going to be good for me being a true and faithful husband, especially being so far from home and not having anyone that was going to be holding me to moral accountability...I Might interject at this juncture that it was incredibly naive for me to not understand... that whats good for the Gander is good for the Goose!
...That's all I have to say about that...That's her story, not mine!..

...Doug was a good host and tour guide, and he immediately began to take me around and introduce me to what had become his and Barry's circle of friends and compatriots...

...One of the first places we went to was several blocks up the street there on Texas Ave where my cousin Debbie and her family lived.  Deb had married a guy Named Koch Rigmaiden, and this was my first time meeting him...

...As it turned out, Koch's Dad was the local connection that had gotten us all to migrate to that part of the country...Deb and Koch's house was a duplex with their good friends from Ohio renting the other half of the house...A cool guy we all called Smiley and his family...Smiley I believe was the drummer in their band...

...Koch was a serious musician that had high aspirations of making it in the Rock n Roll scene, and it was his Father that owned all of these income properties that we were renting and he was also the connection to the oilfield.  I don't remember his name but he was some kind of big shot Oil Company Man.  I never got to know him although I did meet him briefly a time or two.

...As a side story, if my memory serves me right, there was some kind of horrible tragedy in Koch's family where I believe the story goes something like ...His Dad had a loaded Pistol in his truck and Koch's little brother had somehow or another shot and Killed Their Mother by getting ahold of his Dad's gun.  I was told that it was an accident, but as you can imagine, it wasn't something that was talked about very much and it certainly wasn't something you asked a lot of questions about...

...It didn't take me long to get around and begin to make new friends and fit in,  Not only to fit in, but it has always been my nature to try and become more than just another one of the fellows...

...I guess I have a natural very outgoing personality and would be characterized as more of a leader than a follower, although I have done my share of following the crowd to my own destruction I'm afraid...

...It's sad to say though that I certainly did my share of leading plenty of others to the dark side...I, in some kind of very sick way, took a lot of pride in being able to brag about how I was the first person to turn this one or another one onto getting high or taught them how to party...

...It was like I enjoyed being a Pied Piper if you will of the drug culture or counter culture, so it didn't take me long to begin to establish myself as that guy!... The Man! Dr. Feel Good...

...Is that just nuts or what?

...Here I was...Supposedly trying to get away from a very destructive way of life and starting over fresh, but I found myself trying to set myself up as the Local Drug dealer, the new hip and main connection in town.  After all it's what I was used too...

...That was a big part of how I had made my living and kept cash in my pocket for most of my teenage life.  Don't get me wrong...Somewhere in there was an incredible work ethic.  I wasn't afraid of hard work or holding down a job in the legitimate world... I had left home if you remember at 16 and went to work in restraunts and always seemed to have a job...As a matter of fact...I had quite a resume of experience by the time I went south...

...Excuse me...Again I digress...Terrible habit of mine in my writing style.  I tend to be horribly redundant...Moving On with the story...

...If you remember...I left Town up north with a quarter pound of decent weed and a 1000 capsules of black beauty speeders...

...Per usual I began to try and develop a clientelle as well as establish some new connection and suppliers...It all seems to just go hand in hand with living that party party lifestyle...It really was all that I knew at that point in my life and I suppose that when you find yourself in unfamiliar territories you will tend to gravitate towards those things that have worked for you in the past.

...Shortly after arriving in DeRidder Barry showed up with a new girl friend, her name was Page and her and her Mother Joyce lived in a nice little house across town...

...Joyce was Seperated from Page's Father, a Man that was reported to be of substantial means, but for whatever reasons, that family was fractured at that point in their lives and someone put a bug in my ear that Page's Mother was somewhat of a cougar, with a sexual appetite for younger Men...

...As you can imagine, I wasted no time in exploiting that juicy bit of intelligence...and I am not sure if she was my conquest, or I was hers...Didn't matter really...The end result was the same...We both sought pleasure in each others Sexual prowess and ended quite a few nights of partying taking comfort in each others arms and quite a few mornings I woke up in her Bed with only a vague and foggy memory of how I had got there...

...Duh???

...Thats not too hard to figure out is it?  Take loneliness and add a few random drugs, stir in lot's of alcoholic beverages, turn up the music, include lot's of mindless chatter, a large helping of laughter and hilarity, no moral fiber, very little conscience and accountability and...Voila!!!

...I think you get the picture from there?  Oh Yeah...along the way... just change the days and the faces and you are sure to get some repeat performances with a different cast of characters...

...That's the way it went for awhile...I would make frequent calls back home and report on my progress and try and make some plans and projections for the near future and hopeful soon family reunion...

...I guess I was just too far gone in those days and way too self centered to realize how much trouble Beth was in, in her own life...

...The reality was that I had ruined her life...She had hooked up with the wrong guy...A Parents worst nightmare for their daughters...And she was also hell bent at that point towards her own destruction...

...I didn't know it at the time but Thank God, He was looking out for my little girl!

...Here's the Deal...I loved my wife Beth, I loved my baby girl Aimee', but after my Mom and Dad, Oscar split up and my sister Delana, little Brother Jeffery and I were carted off to Michigan, and grew up in the environment we did, I had no idea what a healthy family or even a healthy individual was supposed to behave...I didn't grow up in a Leave it to Beaver Home...

...I got married way too young 18, was also too young to be a parent 20, I didn't have a clue...But at least I realized that whatever I was doing...was not working for any of us...I knew deep down in my heart of hearts that something had to change and God was arranging some of the circumstances in all of our lives, trying to reveal Himself and His Immense Love for us all.

...That was true for me, Beth, Barry, Doug, Debbie and Koch and really everyone that was taveling in our circle those days.  We couldn't see it very clearly then, but they say that hindsight is 20 20...

...What is also true...there was another character in the background that was working very hard to maintain his grip and control over all of our lives and his agenda was bent on our total and complete destruction ...

...As I think back to those days so long ago, It almost seems like we lived a lifetime inside of what could have been only a month and a half at the most...

...I started job hunting almost immediately upon my arrival in early March but when you consider where DeRidder is located in the State and the distances I would have to travel to apply with the different companies...It just wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be...

...DeRidder is located on the western side of the state almost on the Texas Border, just East Of Leesville, where the Ft. Polk Army base is located...Its just about, smack dab in the middle with Shreveport to the North and Lake Charles due South.  I might add that DeRidder is in Beauregard Parish which is a Dry County, so there was a little driving involved if you needed to supply yourself with Alcoholic beverages for the evening festivities...This little fact will play a significant role just a little further ahead in this story.

Now you need to bear in mind that unbeknownst to any of us at the time there was a tremendous battle being raged in the spiritual realm at that particular time in all of our very young lives and in retrospect you can actually identify how God and Satan were battling nack and forth with our souls and lives hanging in the balance,  Many years later I would read a book written by C.S. Lewis called the "SCREWTAPE LETTERS" and I can imagine that there was literally that type of struggle taking place in all of our lives.

Well I think that the stage is now sufficiently set for me to share with you what could be one of the most heart breaking and heart warming parts of my story up to that moment in my life.  Tragedy and Triumph...But I just pray That I share these next events in such away that there will be those that find some comfort in the knowledge that there is some incredible good that comes out of what must have seemed for them to be some of the most senseless tragic circumstances and realities they ever encountered...And it is my Prayer that maybe for the first time since those tragic events of April 1981 some unanswered questions get answered...Maybe Not?  But that is my hope and my prayer!

Brother Michael

YESTERDAY IS GONE...TOMORROW MAY NEVER COME!

Tim McGraw sings a song with a line in it that says that we need to live each day as if we were dyeing!

...It suddenly occurred to me this morning that I have been taking my leisure time in the tellin of my story...

...As if I had all the time in the world to tell it and I all of a sudden had this dreadful feeling that what if something happened and I never got to finish the story???

...I know that each day that goes by, the story is still being realized and played out, but I also realized that there are some very important parts that have not yet been recorded if for no other reason than the fact that our grandchildren and their childrens children might have some very important events recorded for them in my own words so they will have a sense of their very own personal histories.

...Now I'm not trying to be morbid here, as if I've had some kind of premonition in regards to my own mortality and maybe I'll very soon be departing this planet...

...But I have realized lately that there are some very important things that I need to say whilst I still have the opportunity...

...Do Y'all remember how I've talked about some people in my life that were my true heroes and what an awesome impact they have had on my life?

...I know that I've brought it up before...How much love and admiration I have for my wife, Miss Beth, but I really need to tell you and her exactly how incredible of a person she really is!!!

...If my children only knew and realized what kind of a treasure they have in their Mother...I can only Imagine how much differently they might treat her and cherish her...

...Our own lives today are so much further improved and we are so much the better persons because of her love and watchcare that she personally has invested and contributed to our lives.

...As I have watched her lately interacting with our granddaughter...I was reminded or maybe even became truly aware for the first time the purity and genuine quality of her love...The depth of that love if you will...

What a joy it is to see her light up when she is interacting with Alexisand not only her but the depth of her love that is so evident with all of our babies...not only our grand children but it has brought back so many precious memories of her mothering our own children...

...I just wished that Aimee could remember how her mother was with her when she was that yyoung and beyond...After all, she was an only child for the first seven years of her life until Michael II {Repeat} came along.

Oh how she doted on that little girl!

I see it and remember how she was with Aimee when I see her today with Alexis.  That's not to take anything away from how she was with Michael and April because believe me when I tell you about her love and her care for each one of our children...It was and still is special...

But Aimee was blessed in a very special way when it came to having Miss Beth as her Mother...And I have been  doubley blessed as well to have her as my wife and as the mother and grandmother of our children.

The fact that she is still here with me today makes her more than my hero and I just need to get this said at the least...just in case...

And I have plenty more to share and shed some light on what an incredible person my wife truly is...I look forward to telling some more of her story

I HAVE A DREAM>THE PLAN!

"I LOVE IT WHEN A PLAN COMES TOGETHER!"


...The Prophet Habakkuk said to, "Write the vision, and make it plain on the Tablets, so that he that reads it can run with it!"


...In other words, State the plan clearly, so everyone that reads it can clearly understand it well enough to follow it, implement it, and put it into action in such a way that the outcome and end result will be a success because everyone is on the same page and pushing and pulling in the same direction.


It is my greatest and most sincere prayer that what I am about to write as the vision gets translated from the page into reality, and everyone that gets on board, does so passionately, and energetically...
...because in doing so, our own personal lives will be enriched and filled with joy because we have endeavored to...
... "Seek first God's Kingdom and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto us."

...Of course it is no secret that we are now living in what the Bible describes as perilous times...

"This know also that in the last days perilous shall come."
 "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
 without love,  unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,
  treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-
  having a form of Godliness but denying its power.  Have nothing to do with them."{II Timothy 3:1-5}

Now, it is no secret that I have been working on a plan for being obedient to God's call on my life personally, and in doing so leading my family, and loved ones into a life and lifestyle that is in keeping with the great and final commision that Jesus gave to us as his disciples and his children.
Jesus, even refers to us as His friends, heirs, and joint heirs, the sheep of his pasture...There are so many different terms of endearment that God uses when speaking to us and about us that if we could truly grasp how much God truly loves us and cares about us, then we could proceed with total confidence in regards to launching out on this grand adventure that I believe with all my heart that God has birthed in my Spirit!

It will be rather lengthy I am sure as many of you that make a habit of reading my writings understand that I tend to over write, with that being said, I hope that it will cause you the same hunger and excitement as well as anticipation for watching this come to reality and fruition ... I know full well,  that I am prepared to step out in faith, one step, and one day at a time, and see the provision, and the salvation of our God!



I truly believe that in the end it will be historic and massive in scope and I can only hope that it will be God and God alone that gets the glory for it all, because we are only the instruments and vessels being used for His purposes!

..."To God Be The Glory For The Great Things He Hath Done!"

                    "THE GOAL"
To  Receive From God The Right Place at The Right Time, Being The Right Size In Terms of Acreage,[25 to 500 Acres] for The Right Price Without Having to Use Methods of Conventional Financing Such ie: Bank or a Mortgage Company.

                     "THE WHY?"
...This might be hard to compress into a short answer but I'll give it a shot!

...In all perfect honesty, some of it is for selfish reasons, that is,... That I desire to gather my dearest loved ones around me for the restoration of what I believe that God intended for the family to be.
... I want to have another shot at being the Father and Husband that God called me to be, and thereby model for my children, grandchildren, and those that God brings into our sphere of influence and community what I believe would be a healthy loving example of Biblical New Testament Family life.

...In addition that we may provide a reasonable assurance that there is safety and security in numbers of people that are united by kinship both family wise and spiritually. By safety and security, I am talking about financial,    ie; Income produced as a result of production and innovation, with the understanding That, God, Jehovah Jireh is our Provider, and safety arises out of the means to provide for and support your loved ones as well as being able to physically protect those same loved ones...
...Because anything, and anyone, that means to bring hurt or harm has got to get by you first...
...This again being tempered with the understanding That no weapon formed against us will prosper...
...And, If God be for us, who can stand against us?  Of Whom shall we be afraid? 

... It is historically proven that families migrated and united for these purposes in times past combining there energies and resources for Spiritual, and economical reasons as well as creating a healthy environment especially for the childrens sake and benefit, as well as the adults.

It is a well known fact and saying,  "That A Burden Shared, Is A Burden Halved!"  "Two Heads Are Better Than One!" "Where Two Or Three Are Gathered In My Name, There Am I In Their Midst"

{Ecclesiastes 4:9-12} "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour."
  "For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
   "Again, if two lie together, then they have heat; but how can one be warm alone?"
   "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not easily broken."

 Why???  Again is easily understood when you understand where we are in light of the prophetic clock and timetable revealed in the Holy Bible...
...All Hell is about to break loose, and the comfortable life we now live in this country of the United States of America is about to come to a catastrophic end...

...And only those that are well prepared will survive and also be in a strategic position to be used by God to reach out to a very needy world, with many of those in need being our family and close friends!

"Can Anyone Say Tribulation Force???"

There are so many reasons why we need to do this, that an entire book could be written innumerating the reasons...

I believe though the strongest reason we find in the very heart of God..."For He so loved the world that He sent His Only begotten son..."

Like I previously Stated...My personal motives tend to be selfish and orientated towards my love of family...

But it doesnt take a great Theologian or Rocket Scientist, or professional Economist/Accountant  to realize That we cannot sustain the lifestyles that we have grown so comfortable with and accustomed to for too much longer...

we are rushing headlong and hellbent for guaranteed disaster and only those that act now will be in a position to survive and not only survive but thrive as we will be in a tremendous position to respond to the needs of a desperate and damaged humanity...and also it should be a matter of great comfort knowing that our dearest loved ones are gathered near us for support and protection.

...On a practical and natural note...because of the dynamics of supply and demand the financial windfalls will be astronomical...  Do not be seduced or enticed by this reality but rather rejoice because financial prosperity is merely the Blessing of our loving heavenly Father, a tool whose proper stewardship becomes our responsibilty to utilize as good stewards for the furtherence of God's Kingdom and to enhance the lives of those most beloved by our creator.

...Another huge reason why?... for me personally,
is this could once again be another opportunity to get it right in the planting of a genuine honest to goodness real New Testament Church That I believe would have to be at the very center and forefront of everything that we attempt to accomplish...

...I am not talking about some wild off the wall new cult splinter group like David Koresh and the branch Davidians...

...But a real New Testament Church, organized and constituted possibly under the umbrella of the Southern Baptist Denomination for the sake of fellowship, accountability, philosophy, and purpose...  Again, many hands make for a much lighter burden and the truth of the matter is that I believe that God has called me to the Southern Baptist Work!

       .......THE HOW!.....

...Far be it for me to tell God how to provide for an endeavor that I believe he has birthed and inspired in my heart and in my spirit...But I am sure that I do not want to keep doing things the same old ways and expect different results!

...I know that I have no confidence in using banks, mortgage companies and conventional lending institutions as I feel that they are a large part of the problem behind why things are so corrupt and screwed up in our society today.  I have no desire to be a slave to any lender that is part and parcel in bed with the antichrist and his world societal system.

...Our God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and I am sure he owns the hills as well...

..So How????

Is God going to rain the money out of the sky? or grow me a tree that bears hundred dollar bills as its fruit?

...I know that there are resources that are available through grant Programs, through denominational avenues, Christian philanthropic organizations, angel investors, minority entitlement programs, or even God speaking to someones heart and they write their signature on whatever Ticket...maybe a property owner buys into our dream and our plan and provide us with unbelievably generous terms and conditions.

...I'm not looking for something for nothing...I just know that God has the perfect provision for making this happen because God is the one that is calling this into existence...Just like He did with Alpha and Omega Ministries and I also believe that somehow we will become a further extension and resource for that Ministry in the future.

...The How... first off, is to begin looking into the different parcels of property that are available, and we have discovered several very attractive Farm Tracts in the south central Kentucky area near Columbia Ky.
http://www.goldenruleauction.com/   This is the link that takes you to some listings on some awesome properties that I think would work perfectly and if the financing or the means presents itself... Listing A-2384-251 Crocus View Rd. Columbia, Ky. 42728 Is a Particularly ideal property that would fit our purposes quite nicely.  I would be making a move in that direction tomorrow if the good Lord is willing!!!

I truly believe that the sooner we act the better as time is so short, and the amount of time it will take for us arrive at that place where we can declare that we are self contained and self sufficient is going to take a significant amount of time to accomplish.  {By self sufficient, let it be understood that we mean that we will not need to rely on outside sources for food, water, electricity, power, fuel etc.}  the goal is to be off the grid as far as needing to rely on carbon based fossil fuels etc. for our everyday existence.
...we want to be a green, planet friendly, community that produces good things as opposed to consuming non-renewable resources with planet killing by-products occuring as the result of our consumption...

...God has called us to be good stewards of the gifts that he blesses us with and I believe it is possible to live in such a way that we can be at harmony and peace with mankind and the land that we occupy.

There is so much more to this dream and I will not rest until I see that I have exhausted all possibilities of seeing this dream fulfilled...May God grant this desire of my heart!

Business opportunities - Income Potentials

...I'M ONLY GOING TO BARELY SCRATCH THE SURFACE HERE AND REVEAL ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG...BUT HOPEFULLY, YOU'LL GET THE IDEA!

...Having been blessed with an entrepeneurs heart and mind, it is more than apparent that there are so many different business opportunities that would more than adequately provide the necessary financial resources to not only provide a living for all of our families but could potentially give us more than the means to be used by God to have a tremendous positive impact on the lives of people that God would direct our way.

...Not only do I have an entrepeneurs vision but God has given me a heart for a lost and dying, hurting world, and if God would see fit to make a way for this dream to come to fruition, I would covenant and commit to pay it forward for the glory of God and the furtherence of God's kingdom.

...A WORSHIP HOUSE AND SCHOOL WOULD BE ON THE TOP OF MY LIST OF PRIORITIES BECAUSE I WOULD CHERISH THE OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN, { HOME SCHOOL IF YOU LIKE} ABOUT HOW TO LOVE AND WORSHIP GOD AND LIVE LIFE IN SUCH A WAY AS TO HONOR HIS LOVING GIFT OF OUR CREATION...

SOME OF MY IDEAS FOR BUSINESS ARE RAISING AND BOARDING HORSES, POSSIBLY A HORSE AND MUSTANG RESCUE...A RIDING SCHOOL AND STABLES.

A SMALL CATTLE OPERATION WITH A FEW DAIRY COWS AS WELL AS BEEF FOR FOOD CONSUMPTION...POSSIBLY SOME RODEO STOCK IE: BUCKING BULLS AND BRONCS.

RAISING CHICKENS AND OTHER GAME BIRDS FOR EGGS AND POULTRY AND POSSIBLY PUT AND TAKE PHEASENT AND QUAIL HUNTING.

RAISING SOME PORK AND GOATS POSSIBLY MAYBE EVEN A FEW EXOTICS SUCH AS EMU AND OSTRICH AND  ALPACHA'S...THE POSSIBILITIES OF AN ANIMAL RANCH ARE ONLY LIMITED BY OUR IMAGINATION AND WILLINGNESS TO PUT IN THE WORK.

AGRICULTURAL ie: FARMING RAISING FEED GRAINS AND HAY WITH AN EYE FOR RAISING SOME GRAIN FOR THE ALTERNATIVE FUEL MKTS.

ORGANIC PRODUCE WITH A LOCAL PRODUCE STAND AND POSSIBLY EVEN A SMALL RESTARAUNT...AIMEE HAS A CHOCOLATIER BUSINESS THAT COULD PROSPER IN THIS ENVIRONMENT...AND AS FAR AS MARKETING GOES WITHIN OUR NOW GLOBAL MARKET PLACE, THANKS TO THE WORLD WIDE WEB???  AGAIN WE ARE ONLY LIMITED BY OUR IMAGINATIONS!

I DONT WANT TO OVERWHELM ANYONE, BUT THE LIST OF BUSINESS IDEAS AND OPPORTUNITIES GOES ON AND ON  AS WE CAN BE ON THE CUTTING EDGE OF NEW AND INNOVATIVE GREEN TECHNOLOGY AS WE BUILD OUR EARTHSHIPS AND POWER UP OUR LIVING AND WORK SPACES WITH ALTERNATIVE ENERGY SOURCES SUCH AS SOLAR, WIND, ENERGY CELLS, AND BIO FUELS ETC.

I DONT KNOW IF ITS OCCURRED TO ANY OF YOU BUT TO FIND OIL AND NATURAL GAS ON YOUR PROPERTY IN THE OLD DAYS WAS A TREMENDOUS BOON FOR BUILDING FAMILY FORTUNES AND DYNASTIES...BUT HAVE WE EVEN THOUHGT ABOUT HOW A GALLON OF DRINKING WATER OFTEN SELLS FOR MORE THAN A GALLON AF GAS ON THE OPEN MARKET TODAY AND WE COULD UTILIZE SPRINGS ON OUR PROPERTY FOR A DRINKING WATER ENTERPRISE???

WHAT ABOUT TIMBER AND A WOOD WORKING SHOP, MAYBE A SMALL SAW MILL?

HOW ABOUT HORTICULTURE AND THE TREE ARBOR INDUSTRY?  THERE'S A HUGE MARKET IN LANDCAPING AND TREE SERVICES, LANDSCAPE NURSERIES AND LAWN AND LANDSCAPE MAINTENANCE...WE'VE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT BEFORE IN KENTUCKY AND WAS ACTUALLY QUITE SUCCESFUL AT IT?

HOW ABOUT A CHRISTIAN RETREAT CAMP AND MAYBE EVEN A SUBSTANCE ABUSE RECOVERY PROGRAM.  WHAT A GREAT ENVIRONMENT TO GET PEOPLE OFF THE STREETS OF OUR CITIES AND ALL THOSE EVIL INFLUENCES AND BRING THEM INTO A SERENE PASTORAL RURAL ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY CAN FIND THEMSELVES AND HOPEFULLY FIND GOD AND AS NEW WAY OF LIVING...A BETTER WAY OF LIFE FULL OF HOPE, PROMISE, AND OPPORTUNITY...TO BE PRODUCTIVE AGAIN FOR MAYBE THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME?

IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE OUT THERE THAT CAN SEE THE REMARKABLE OPPORTUNITY THAT GOD IS GIVING US TO BEGIN TO GET PEOPLE TO SEE THAT THEIR IS A MUCH BETTER WAY OF LIFE THAN WHAT WE HERE ON THE NEWS DAILY WHERE OUR ECONOMY IS FAILING, OUR HOMES ARE BEING FORECLOSED ON AND TAKEN AWAY FROM US, WHERE THE GOVERNMENT IS ATTEMPTING TO GROW LARGER AND LARGER FEEDING ITSELF ON ITS OWN CORRUPTION AND THE MISERY OF THE MASSES,

OUR GOVERNMENTS BEST SOLUTIONS ARE FAILED POLICIES OF MAKING US SLAVES AND DEPENDANTS ON GOVERNMENT PROGRAMS OF WELFARE AND ENTITLEMENTS, EARMARKS ETC.

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT OR WE WILL BE HERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME...

ALL I'M SAYING IS...LETS GIVE GOD A REAL CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING GREAT AND EVERLASTING WITH OUR LIVES AND IN THE PROCESS...WE MIGHT JUST HAVE THAT TRIBULATION FORCE THAT I'VE BEEN HARPING ABOUT AND WHEN THE MASSES CAN NO LONGER BUY AND SELL BECAUSE THE ANTI CHRIST SYSTEM HAS BEEN PUT INTO PLAY WE WILL HAVE A WAY TO SURVIVE AND UNTIL THAT TIME DOES IN FACT HAPPEN...AND IT WILL...MUCH SOONER THAN LATER I'M AFRAID...

LIFE FOR THE HEAR AND NOW WILL BE MUCH BETTER THAN IT IS NOW!

Brother Michael